Let me start at the very beginning. I was born and raised in Utah. I have always been a good member of the LDS church, but I didn't have very good friends in Utah so it was hard. My dad went to Iraq when I was ten. It was a difficult time for my family. When he got back over a year later, he got a job offer in DC so we moved. Before we moved, my parents sat me and all my siblings down and told us that VA is nothing like UT. That there are not nearly as many members, and that we would all be faced with difficulties. It was hard for me to believe, because everything was great in Utah, but I went along with it. Boy, was I in for a shock.

 My mom was very worried about me because she said I would either be a serious follower or a great leader.

I was in 5th grade when I moved to Virginia. As the new girl, I got bullied right off the bat. My skin is pink to begin with and I turn red pretty easily. So, that was what they made fun of. Now looking back I'm thinking, "was that the best you got?"

8th grade was when it all started.  My best friend moved the year before, so I really didn't have any support. I don't know exactly when or why people thought it would be okay to treat me badly, but they did and it happened. At first, it was just name calling, though I found very offensive, it was bearable. Then this group of guys thought it would be funny to harass me physically. I sat next to one of them in Civics. He thought he could get me to help him cheat on a test by poking my boobs until I would give him the answer. I was 14 at the time and that made me very uncomfortable so of course I gave him the answers. Which in turn only made him do it more.

Because my best friend had moved prior to 8th grade, I didn't have a good friend, so naturally, I wanted some. There were three girls that showed interest in being my friends, but little did I know, they were just like The Plastics in Mean Girls. I would hang out with them during school, but never outside of school. And it is a good thing I didn't. There was a guy in a couple of my classes and he was one of the few who where actually nice to me. We got along great, then one day, the Regina George of my group called me a whore, because I was friends with this sweet popular boy. I was offended because everyone knew I was a very innocent girl that probably at the time didn't even know what whore meant.

Once that happened, I looked at these girls completely different. The name calling just got worse when I refused to be mean to this sweet guy. Finally, after a couple of weeks I could not take it anymore, so I stopped talking to them completely. I ate lunch with the special needs kids and boy were they sweet. The name calling and bullying got worse when I "dumped" the mean girls.

So, for the rest of middle school I was bullied by The Plastics, that pervert touched me in class to get me to help him cheat, and no one ever knew about any of this. I would come home crying all the time. I was a 14 year old girl in a class of immature perverts and mean girls. Oh how I wish I could forget that whole year!

The next year at the start of high school, I had 3 great friends, Ashton, Jake and Emily. They were everything to me. I didn't have any classes with any of them, but I knew they had my back and I had theirs. But still I got harassed.

I still came home from school crying quite a bit. In Biology, there was a new culprit. We were lab partners, and our desks faced the front of the classroom, unlike most of the other desks. I knew this boy had a reputation, and I had known him for awhile. He always winked at me. I went along with it because I thought that was just how he acted. Then one  day, he started touching my inner thigh. I was confused and asked him what he was doing, and to stop. He did, that day. The next day he came in and kept asking me to call him "big daddy". Again, I was barely 15 years old and very innocent. So, I said it just to get him to stop bugging me, then a second later he leaned over and said, "you just gave me a boner" and sure enough... Then he said, "hey, lets go to the bathroom. Let me show you a good time" or something like that. I was beyond angry and embarrassed. I was a very good girl. I dressed modestly, I never swore and I sure didn't 'go to the bathroom with a guy'. Why would he think he can treat me that way? Is something wrong with me? Are people spreading rumors about me? Do people think I'm a slut? All of these questions plus many more ran through my mind as he asked me that sick question. Thankfully the bell saved me.

That night, I cried for a very long time. I told my mom and dad. My dad was ready to drag this boy's face across the pavement and then run over him. Long story short, he made me go to the teacher and tell her. Then, I got my seat moved, the boy got suspended, I had to talk to many counselors. When word got around that I was the one who got him suspended, I got bullied more. People would ask me why I told on him, why I didn't just 'go to the bathroom with him', and why it was such a big deal.

Let me make myself clear, I TOLD BECAUSE HIS ACTIONS WERE UNACCEPTABLE! I DIDN'T GO WITH HIM BECAUSE I HAVE HIGH STANDARDS AND INTEND ON KEEPING THEM HIGH! AND IT WAS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!

Thankfully, I had my squad to help me through this hard time. I don't think they realized how much their support meant to me, so, if you are reading this Ashton, Jake or Emily, THANK YOU!

As the years went on, I guess it got easier. Maybe because I began to pray for the people who were hurting me. That helped me have patience with them, and realize they may not be doing it on purpose. I bet most of the people who hurt me didn't know that they hurt me. Maybe they were being hurt by someone. It helped me not jump to conclusions and not let what they said get to me. Don't get me wrong. The words still hurt.

Also, as the years went on, one by one members of my squad moved away. By senior year it was just me. Time to put what I learned to the test. I was able to continue to be a faithful young woman, and I knew how to stand up for myself. I was grateful for the trial I was given, and that I was able to come out of it a better person and a great leader. I still look back at all those years in that hell whole, and wish it could have been like High School Musical. But, I found myself during those years, and my true friends.

In the end, I turned out to be a great leader. Although this experience was extremely hard, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I can do hard things. That it really doesn't matter what other people think of you. That if you stick to who you are, you can do anything. And most of all, that I am a daughter of God, and he puts us through trials so we can become a better person.

I hope that my experience will help young women who maybe struggling with similar trials. It is so very important to keep your standards high and remember who you are, but most importantly, IT IS OKAY TO STAND ALONE IF YOU ARE STANDING FOR WHAT IS RIGHT!!!




Here are a few pictures.


This is Jake. A member of my squad.






Ashton, Emily, Myself and my amazing sister Jasmin





And of course, The one who helped me through this journey, the greatest woman I know, and my best friend. On graduation.


I'm ready for my College Musical!